QuantumFog

November 14, 2006

Assorted whatnots of cyberspace

The folks in Monroe, NC were so bent on the idea of getting a Democrat in office, they elected Sam Duncan to sit on the county Soil and Water Conservation board. He beat the Republican opponent by 12,000 votes. One problem: Sam died a month ago.

In Moelndal, Sweden, school officials are trying to get the police to remove a drunk elk. The miscreant quadruped found an apple tree near the Eklanda school and enjoys the fermenting fruit laying about. It eats until it gets a buzz, then lays down in a defensive posture to ward off trespassers.

The IRS works with a kinder and gentler approach in Patna, India. They send a bunch of singing and dancing eunuchs dressed in drag to collect the taxes. Shopkeepers quickly scribble a check to get them out the door.

The post-coital bliss after the elections in Waldenburg, Arkansas left Randy Wooten saying, "Hey, waitaminnit..." Randy's pretty sure he got screwed, but doesn't have a description of the suspect. He threw his ballcap into the mayoral race with two other contestants few weeks ago, then voted for himself during the election. The result? Each of the other two guys got 18 votes. According to city hall, Randy got "0". Yup, they were using an electronic voting machine.

Lin Hui will need to learn how to pole dance while her intended watches porn. Zookeepers in Chiang Mai, Thailand say their male panda doesn't know how to ... and needs all the help he can get. They're setting up a large screen video so Chuang Chuang can get his freak on while munching a bamboo shoot. They might try a six pack of Budweiser and a bikini wax on the broad.

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