September 5, 2006

... the Lord sayeth, " Whassup!"

On a Sunday in 2003, the Reverend Don Hardman is feeling that adrenalin rush. The visiting preacher from Virginia grips the sides of the lecturn, alternating between a zen-like communion with the Maker and filling the congregation's spiritual cup with measured prose.

The congregation is doin' the usual, some nodding, some fanning, one trying to stay awake. Outside, a thunderstorm rolls across the flat expanse of prairie in Forest, Ohio.

Reverend Don uses what the Lord gives him. He pauses after every few sentences and waits for the next thunderclap to punctuate his verse. He rocks back and forth on his heels to add rhythmic emphasis to scripture and improvisation. He's on a roll.

To understand what Don's going through here, compare it to guys who want that rush when they throw a touchdown pass, get that first kiss or go from zero to sixty in five seconds. Ol' Don had the congregation, the storm and the Almighty; he knew the rush was coming, he could feel it. Don raises his voice to build the energy.

He looks up to the sky and yells, "That's right, God! We hear you!".

On cue, a peal of deafening thunder startles the congregation.

The lights flicker off for a second, revealing a strange blue aura in the building. The sound system explodes.

A baby starts crying, someone leaves for the bathroom. Fifteen year old Erick Smith squints as he looks up at the preacher.

Erick is thinkin', "cool" as he watches sparks of electricity travel along the wire from the preachers belt buckle to the microphone on his collar. Outside, clay tiles fall from the steeple and crush a car in the parking lot.

Don takes a moment as the smoke clears. He mumbles, "Okay, Lord, I can go with that...", and continues preaching.

Not for long. Someone rushes in the back door of the church and says, "Fire in the steeple!"

Sermon over.

It all works out okay. The fire department takes care of it in their quick fashion, then spends three hours listening as members of the congregation repeat the story.

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